August 22nd, 2010 The Molly Party and the WOUNDED WARRIORS Week
The Surf Count of Waist High Or Better is 25 out of 27 weeks...

"Why don't you go and get your surfboard and show us what you can do! You probably don't even know how to surf!" Is there a harsher bunch of words, strung together, that can hurt a surfer more than these words? Having someone yell at you, at your local break, saying you don't know how to surf? And not just someone, but a person who is clearly a beginner, and who is riding a soft top? Oh yea. That happened to me a couple of weeks ago. At first, I thought I was being PUNKED. You know, that show that's based on a modern day Candid Camera. They set friends up, and try and get them to react to some absurd situation. Kind of what I was experiencing that morning.

I need to back up a little here, and explain myself.

Those water shots that I posted last week, were from this same day. As most of you know, I am engaged in a daily undertaking, of surfing everyday for 365 consecutive days. I'm calling it "Catch a Wave For Molly." You know about it. That banner right over there in the next column, that says DAILY BLOG Catch A Wave For Molly, well that has my day by day, daily blog. Check it out sometime.

On this day last week, I had already caught a handful of waves that morning. And if you go back and look at my water shots, you will see that it was a fun day. While out surfing that morning, I noticed that there were two new faces in the small line-up that morning that I had not seen before. I'm guessing they were both in their late 20's.

One of them was riding a soft top. A black soft top.

Now before anyone starts thinking that I am against Soft Tops, think again. In fact, if anything, I'd prefer it, if all beginners used them. It would be that much safer. Any ways, this one guy dropped in on me on one of my waves, but I said nothing. It was truly not a big deal to me. I could care less. The waves were not that good to get upset over. It was just a fun little playful session.

But shortly after, he dropped in on a young up and coming grom. The young grom actually tried to call the guy off the wave, but this beginner was...oh what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yea CLUELESS. And he was. 100% without a clue. I could tell by the confused chimpanzee look on his face. He had no idea why this little guy was calling him off the wave. But again, I said nothing. I was just enjoying the day and the waves. After another couple of waves, I decided to put Big Black in the vehicle, and go and get my camera and shoot a few water shots.

The very first pic I snapped, was of this same guy, dropping in on a friend of mine.

I motioned to my friend that I had another BDI (Blatant Drop In) for my BDI folder. We laughed and shook our heads. At this point, I had gotten into position for some action shots, and my friend and fellow musician, paddled into a nice walled up right, and he was coming straight at me. It was going to be a perfect shot. Just then, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, this same beginner, struggling with his paddling, trying to catch this same wave. That's when I put my hand up to motion him to stop.

"I'm going right!" he yells. "And so is the guy who is already up and riding!" I yell back.

And that's when it started. He started to mock me. Making hand motions like a duck quacking...in other words, he was mocking me and what I just said. "Are you kidding me?" I yelled out to him. "You're mocking me?" And he kept it up. Then he actually waved me off like I was some loser. That's when I asked out loud, if this was being filmed. "Am I on Candid Camera? Is this an episode of PUNKED?" No one said a word, except the guy on the soft top. And that's when he yelled it out for all to hear.

"Why don't you go and get your surfboard and show us what you can do! You probably don't even know how to surf!"

I was stunned. I don't remember when, but I know it started deep inside my soul. A low, deep, and painful guttural groan, that sounded like a wounded bull, this agonizing primal scream, that I was not even aware I had inside of me, slowly came to the surface. It got louder and louder, until I realized what I was doing. I was hurt. But more importantly, I was mad. Think about it. A bona fide kook telling you, that you don't know how to surf? There is nothing worse that you can tell another surfer. I mean think about it. If you really wanted to hurt a surfer, tell him he does not know how to surf. I guarantee you, it will crush him. There are no more hurtful words on the planet, than telling a surfer, that he or she, does not know how to surf.

Yet, here was this beginner on a soft top, not just telling me, he was yelling at me.

What happened next I'm afraid is mostly a blur. There were more words exchanged from both parties and then the ultimate absurdity happened. His friend came over to me and suggested that he and his buddy take me to the beach to settle this. What? "You want to fight with me over this?" I was beyond stunned. "Where are the cameras?" I yelled out. "This must be on film. Who's filming this?" But there was silence. These two guys were serious. What started out as a fun summer session with some friends and a few groms, had quickly escalated into this.

Now I was furious. I accepted their offer.

I started to swim in their direction, but by that point, they both paddled away. Maybe my razor sharp teeth had something to do with it. Or the fact that during my swim, I ate several jelly fish and a few stripers who swam in my path. In either case, they paddled faster away from me. I stopped swimming, and just treaded water.

I wondered what the hell had just happened.

I looked around, and saw the groms and my buddy sitting on their boards, they were no doubt wondering, what I was going to do next. I gathered my senses, and became quiet myself. I shot a few more waves, but didn't say a word. But I was still uneasy.

I noticed that the two of them had paddled in without catching a wave, and they were now walking back down the beach, right past me. They took off their wetsuits and sat on the rocks and watched me. I could not control my feelings, and went in and approached them. Now, some of you who know about my past, and how I used to deal with insubordinate surfers, are expecting something bad to happen. And truth be told, I was not sure on how this was going to end myself.

But I was in their face, before you could say "Soft Top".

" Look, I don't want surfing to be a bad experience for either of you. But, you can't just drop in one anyone you feel like, and you certainly can't be mocking local surfers, and more importantly, you can't call someone to the beach and challenge them to a fight. Are you guys kidding me? You want to fight? Over this? Are either one of you martial arts experts?" They shook their heads no. "Then why would you challenge someone to a fight?" They had that same Chimp look again. I wished I had a banana to give them.

"Do you guys know me?" They shook their heads no again.

"So, you just thought that I was some old guy with a camera, who didn't know my ass from my elbow?" They looked up at me and blinked the salt water out of their eyes. "And saying I don't know how to surf? That really hurt. The fighting part? I can handle that. I'll fight anyone if I have to. But the not knowing how to surf? That hurt."

I could see them feeling and actually hearing my words. And it got to them.

"I am serious about not wanting surfing to be a bad experience for you. Surfing is supposed to be fun. But like anything else in life, there are rules and regulations. And unfortunately, the rules of surfing, are not taught to beginners. It's only after something like this happens, when you find out about these rules." The one guy who actually knew how to surf, said he was going to teach his friend about respect. I nodded in agreement. They both thanked me for taking the time to speak with them.

We shook hands, and just as quickly, life was good again.

That story could of ended badly, I know. And while there were some funny moments, it was an uneasy feeling for a while there. I was wrong for saying some of the things I said to them. I am not making any excuses. I was wrong. Especially in front of the young groms. The last thing these kids should be witnessing is this crap. I know there are still parts of the surfing world, that deals with these situations with violence. It can get ugly out there I know. And it's a global problem for sure. As I write this, there's some surfer getting his ass pounded by some other surfer, For right or wrong, it's happening. But here in our little world? I'm so over it. We need to choose our battles.

Surfing should be fun. And once again, Surfing has healed another wound.

Now for some of my Weekly Global Observances:
OK can someone please tell me what the hell is the matter with Brett Farve? Are you kidding me? Is this a joke or what? Whenever I saw him land in Minnesota with an entourage of 4 black SUV's I laughed. Who does he think he is? The President? In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he shows up on Martha's Vineyard to hang out with the Obamas. I mean this is ridiculous. Retire. Come back . Retire. Come back. Retire...oh you get it. Stuff like this is what makes this world of professional sports so wacky.

So he was one play short of making the Super Bowl last year. One play. But good lord Brett, make up your freaking mind. Play or don't play. But stop with this BS.

So last week I complained about all the shark stories and while I was sort of being sarcastic, I realize that there are and will be shark attacks and people will die. A surfer in Australia was killed by a Great White last week. He bled to death from two massive bites to his legs. That's not a joke. He was married with two kids. And in another related incident, a friend from California sent me a photo that his friend took of a massive Great White shark cruising between their kayaks. Check it out.

OK that is one large dorsal fin. And if I were to see something like that up close and personal, I might have a different opinion on all these shark stories. I know they are out there. I've always known this. It's just that I'm not sure we should be making all the fuss we do when we spot one. They said this thing was over 20' long...gulp. That's big.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Thanks to ALL the SURF Artists who sent in their Art for last week's Annual SURF ART Column. You are all truly talented and gifted artists. And thank you to all the wonderful comments we received about their creative work. Surfing is Art. Art is Surfing.
REST IN PEACE Petey. Christine Sullivan's beloved boxer.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOLLY! SURF PARTY Contest for Molly on August 22nd 2010 at Independence Park across from Cinnamon Rainbows on Sunday August 22nd 2010. See poster for details.
Check the DAILY BLOG on My CATCH A WAVE FOR MOLLY. (Click On the Banner on this page.) Started on July 26, 2010 ENDS July 26, 2011. A Wave a day for 365 consecutive days. Just click on the banner ads on this page.
AUGUST 27th the Wounded Warriors Return to Hampton. HIT THE BEACH III will take place at 18th Street at the Wall on North Beach. We moved the venue down to 18th Street for wheelchair access and close proximity to the bathhouses.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VEDA DAY CROPPER who is turning 5 on August 23rd! Yea Veda!
Happy Birthday Kai Nichols August 2th! (Also Duke Kahanamoku's birthday)
Happy Birthday John Fatello August 25th!

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Ralph

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